


Diary

by KaiBlueOtaku



Category: Bleach
Genre: Diary/Journal, F/M, Gen, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 04:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1844710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiBlueOtaku/pseuds/KaiBlueOtaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what it says: random pages from Orihime’s diary entries.  Dribs and drabs, misc content.  I will add warnings as they come up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diary

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The talented Tite Kubo is the owner of Bleach, and all its characters. I am merely borrowing them to tell my story. I own only my plot and ideas. I receive no financial compensation for my writing.
> 
> A/N: A page from Hime’s diary, a letter to Ichigo that she never planned to send. Some of this may mesh with my personal AU, but it’s not specifically intended to, at this point.

May 28:

                I saw pictures of you online today.  I guess you must still keep in touch with Chad, because he had some linked.  Looks like you’re getting married.

                I’m happy for you, I am.  It never would have worked out between us, for so many reasons.  After you lost your powers, we started dating.  I think you just wanted to find some balance of “normal,” somehow, and thought us dating would help that.  I’ve always like you, Kurosaki-kun, but I don’t think you felt the same, and as time went on, you realized it too.  We’re just too different.  I think maybe you felt like I was going out with you out of pity, but that wasn’t the case, and couldn’t have been further from the truth.  Aside from my liking you, I saw pain in your heart that I knew my Rikka could never heal.  I can’t bear to see someone like you, so broken.

                So, in a way, it was my way to get close to you, and offer you a comfort that you didn’t otherwise know.  And in the beginning, it seemed to help.  But after a while, you started to feel pitied, and pushed me away.

                It wasn’t pity, Kurosaki-kun.  It was compassion, empathy, and love.  But, you’re not the type I can argue with and win, so I let you walk away.

                We both went to university in different towns, so we drifted even further apart.  And when I came home to Karakura, you eventually slipped off my radar.  Uryu and I were happy together, and his sweet, nervously awkward proposal was something I couldn’t say no to. He was always there in the background, always kind, always gentle, always a gentleman.  I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner.  And the idea of him not being there beside me was just too lonesome.  You and I tolerated each other, but Uryu and I…  Well, it just fit better.

                Eventually, love becomes a matter of finding not the one you can live with, but the one you can’t live without, it seems.

                I saw you one day in the grocery store.  I didn’t realize you had moved back to town, but I guess I could have expected as much.  Karakura is a pretty small place; it was only a matter of time before I ran into you.  I remember how my heart stopped for a moment, and I stared.  You didn’t see me; I was at the other end of the aisle, and before you could look up, I went around the end of the display and walked away.

                I’ve seen you other times, either at the store or walking on the street while I was riding the bus to work.  It always makes my breath catch in my throat, but I won’t go up to you.  There are things I want to say, to explain, to apologize about, but it’s clear that you’ve moved on.  I won’t stir things up.  You seem happy, and I’ll just have to let things go between us and get over it again.  It seems like every time I see you again, things get ripped back open for me though.  Maybe it gets easier over time.  I don’t know.  It’s been a long time, and it doesn’t seem any easier.

                Uryu and I are happy, we are.  Things aren’t perfect, but what in this life is?  Five years of marriage and a two-year-old is nothing to sneeze at.  Anju* is beautiful; she has my hair and Uryu’s clear, blue eyes.  Part of me wishes you could meet her.

                I’ve never met your fiancée.  I wonder if you two met at university, or maybe at some job you worked somewhere.  I wonder if you ever told her about me, or if she knows about any of your past in Soul Society.  With no powers anymore, you can live a normal life.  I wonder sometimes what that must be like.  You cut ties with most of us since then, I guess it must have been too painful to be constantly reminded of the sacrifice you had made…

                I hope you’re happy with her, Kurosaki-kun.  And maybe someday, if it’s you who sees me on the street first, and you come up to me and start up a conversation, I’ll try not to start crying.

                There are some wounds that even my Rikka can’t heal.

**Author's Note:**

> *Anju means “Honor; shine,” it seemed like a good name for a child between the two of them.


End file.
